Isn’t it easy to fall in love with another person? All it takes is one moment and then you find yourself tumbling head first. Your heart starts thumping for someone who meant nothing to you before this realisation hit you between the eyes. It’s very easy to fall in love with someone else and when you do, you like everything about them. The twinkle in their eyes, the way their lips move when they smile, the curvature of their cheeks, the sound of their laughter, the way their hair falls, the way they say your name, their likes, their peculiarities, you begin to love every single thing about them that ranges from their physicality to their qualities and personality.
You refuse to see or acknowledge anything negative about them. It’s as if you are conditioned to only see them in good light and above all you believe that they are perfect just the way they are. Now that you know how easy it is to fall in love with someone else, try falling in love with yourself? Shouldn’t it be the easiest thing in the world to love yourself? Then why does it seem like the toughest thing to do? Why do we only look at our flaws, why do we not recognize and acknowledge the perfection within us?
It’s alright to admit that you lack the vital vitamin called self- love. Self -love deficiency is a potent problem that we all deal with in varying degrees but don’t worry, in this blog I’m going to share with you how you can amp up your self-love. This is the ultimate guide which will help you to fall in love with yourself if you have fallen out of love. It will help you to appreciate yourself even more and for those who have never loved themselves, it will help you to learn how to go about loving yourself and realizing what an amazing person you already are!
1. Positive self –talk
The most that you speak to anyone in a day is to yourself. If you can always be mindful about being kind and gentle with others then how often have you made it a point to be kind and go easy on yourself? Have you ever heard how you speak to yourself? Is it with love or is it filled with criticism, harsh words and anger? We all make mistakes but that doesn’t mean we should be harsh on ourselves. Self -love means being understanding and patient, praising yourself for a job well done and forgiving yourself for any mistakes you make. So, the next time you are about to make a rude remark or pass a stern judgement on yourself, stop and talk to yourself like you would to a dear friend or family member. When you do this you will feel lighter because this is your first step towards self-love.
2. The 30 Day Appreciation challenge
The sound of a challenge always charges us up to prove a point. This time, you must prove to yourself that you are wonderful, amazing, accomplished and perfect. If I ask you to believe that you are all these things and much more, you will find it difficult to do so, but if you take up this 30 day challenge where every day you must write on a piece of paper one good quality that you appreciate about yourself, you will eventually come to believe and realize that you are a beautiful being and a perfect creation. If you introspect and spend a few minutes every day to dwell on your strengths, you will slowly begin to love yourself. These can be any qualities like- I cook delicious food, I have lovely brown hair, I am smart, I have a beautiful smile, I am hardworking and talented, I am humble, I have a good sense of humor, I am kind, I am a good friend and other such qualities. As you compliment yourself each day, you will certainly begin to see yourself in a new light and gradually you will come to love yourself.
3. Say the three magical words
Say the three magical words, ‘I love you’ to yourself whenever you see yourself in the mirror. Look at yourself straight in the eye and say it with meaning and purpose. When you say these simple but powerful words, you will feel so much better. This little exercise is sure to uplift your self-love quotient. You may feel uncomfortable at first and you may wonder if you are being narcissistic but trust me; this is nothing but simply expressing a healthy dose of self-love. Draw some inspiration from the character of Poo (Pooja) played by Kareena Kapoor Khan in Karan Johar’s film- Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. The character of Pooja definitely teaches a lesson in self -love and in believing that you are simply perfect, a gift to humanity and you are utterly matchless and irreplaceable. Kareena Kapoor Khan who plays the character of Geet in the movie ’Jab We Met’ says another dialogue that rings absolutely true- “Main apni favourite hoon” which means -I am my most favourite person. When you make it a habit to express your love to yourself every time you pass a mirror, you are well on your way to becoming your most favourite person!
4. It’s not fair to compare
Can you compare the beauty of a golden sunset to the beauty of a cascading, glorious waterfall? Can you compare the beauty of a misty rainbow to the beauty of the glowing Northern lights? Can you say which is prettier, the gigantic mountains or the vast beaches? It’s unfair to compare the beauty of all these things because they are incomparable. They all are God’s creations and are unique and beautiful in their own right and so are we. I believe that it is criminal to compare yourself with another person. To compare there must be a common base, but we all are different and hence incomparable. So the next time you see someone and try to belittle or criticize yourself, stop right there and tell yourself that it is unfair to compare. You must proudly declare that we all are unique and are our own version of beautiful.
5. Listen to these 6 self-love anthems
‘Music is magic’ and trust me this is no exaggeration. Music has the power to uplift your mood, change your belief and make you super happy. If you want to increase your self-love quotient then you must listen to these 6 songs and make them your anthem. Put them on repeat and keep listening to them till the words don’t sink in because what each artist says is the absolute truth.
The first song is ‘I love Me’ by Meghan Trainor. This is a peppy number that is sure to make you snap your fingers and bob your head in time with its catchy beat. This song is all about not caring what the world has to say about you but to simply say like the song suggests- “I love me and God made me just right!”
The second song is ‘Scars to your beautiful’ by Alessia Cara. This soulful song is all about recognising your own shining light, realising that you are beautiful just the way you are and there is no need to change anything about you. One of my most favourite lines from this song is “we’re stars and we’re beautiful.”
The third song is called ‘Pretty’s on the inside’ by Chloe Adams and it is such a feel good song because it’s all about realising just what the song’s name suggests that pretty is on the inside and you have got to see it in your own eyes. If you can’t you only need to look a little harder and a little closer and then you will surely find it.
The fourth song is Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ which is a powerful song about accepting yourself and loving yourself because you were born perfect and God makes no mistakes. Though this song is also about gay, lesbian and transgender people learning to accept their identity, this song is all about loving yourself because you are beautiful in your own way.
The fifth song is one of my personal favourite called ‘Firework’ by Katy Perry. It is by far the most powerful and uplifting song that I have come across and if you are someone who suffers from low self-esteem and do not recognise your own worth then this song is the reality check that you need. It proudly declares that you have a spark in you, you are a Firework, bright, dazzling and shining and you must show the world how amazing you are and leave them in awe.
The last song in the self-love anthem is One Direction’s ‘What makes you beautiful’ and you can always imagine that the handsome hunks of One Direction are crooning this song for you! The lyrics are sweet and simple and it’s all about realising how beautiful you are. The song emphatically declares that you need no make-up and the way you are is enough! Now who wouldn’t want to hear this and if these words aren’t enough, imagine someone telling you that you light up their world! Well, the truth is you do! We all have the power and beauty to light the whole world with just a single smile and we are beautiful and perfect in our own unique way. This song is a perfect reminder of how special and beautiful you already are!
So, the next time you find yourself sulking, frowning and looking dejected, remind yourself to plug in your earphones and listen to these songs on repeat till you don’t feel like you are the most gorgeous woman on this planet.
Whenever you find the light within you burning low, just follow the above pointers and remind yourself that the same God who created the stars, the galaxies, the fathomless ocean and the mesmerizing planet that we live in also created each one of us and like each and every creation of his, we are nothing short of sheer perfection!