Imagine this- It’s the weekend and after a tiring and stressful week you plan to unwind and relax at home by changing into your most comfortable T-shirt and loose pants, sit in front of the TV and binge watch your favourite show. But as you continue to dream about your lovely plan with a dreamy smile on your face you parents tell you to quickly get dressed because you have to accompany them to a wedding at a venue which is so far away that it will take at least 1 and a half hour to reach. Of course you would try to weasel out of this outing by making some excuse or the other but you are told in no uncertain terms that you MUST accompany them. How would you react? I’m pretty sure you would be totally, utterly, furiously angry. That was precisely my reaction when this happened to me not long ago.
I remember arguing, shouting, screaming and bickering bitterly with my parents but nothing seemed to work at all and in the end, I had to go. In hindsight I realized that if I had reacted differently and not given in to my anger then maybe things would have played out differently.
This entire episode made me realise that I had to think of a way to deal with my anger. So after a lot of head scratching and brain storming with Kaajal, I have come up with some really easy hacks that will be of immense help when you’re angry and don’t know how to deal with your anger.
1. Silence is the key
When you’re faced with a situation that makes you very angry resist the urge to shout or talk back because doing that would be a big, big mistake. Instead clamp you mouth shut and choose to remain silent no matter what. In fact the angrier you are, it becomes all the more necessary to maintain a dignified silence. But while you remain quiet, take deep breaths and focus on your breathing so that you feel calm. Once your breathing has evened, start counting in your head and keep counting till you feel the anger dissipate. This tactic will work because the moment you start counting in your head, you will shift your focus from the person who is making you angry and as you give all your attention to the simple and mechanical act of counting you will immediately feel better and more in control of your feelings.
2. Walk away
In spite of trying the above mentioned technique if you still feel that your temperature is rising, then the next best alternative is to excuse yourself as politely as you can and walk away from there as soon as possible. Walking away will give you a chance to take charge of your emotions and rein in your temper because nothing good ever comes out of anger. With every step that you take to walk away from the person or situation that has made you lose your cool, you will feel better and lighter. Sometimes walking away is the best thing you can do 🙂
3. Mellow down with some melody
Another thing that can work wonders to extinguish the red hot flames of anger is to tune in to some really good music. Instead of raving and ranting about the unfair situation that has ticked you off it would be a good idea to plug in your ear phones and listen to some of your favourite songs. Music is therapeutic and it works beautifully to calm your mind and boost your mood. Keep listening to your favourite songs one after another until you start feeling better. Whenever I’m upset or angry I shut out the world and my angry thoughts with music and it succeeds in making me feel good every single time.
4. Walk to let off steam
When you’re filled with rage and don’t know how to let off some steam then nothing works better than a good old walk. As you start walking, make an effort to look around you- take in the trees, the sunlight filtering through the leaves, the wind that caresses your face and shut out all the thoughts that are running around in your head. As you focus on your surroundings you will forget all the things that made you angry in the first place and you will immediately start feeling good. You will feel a marked difference in the way you felt before you started walking because walking releases feel good hormones called endorphins. So the next time you feel angry, just head for your walking shoes!
5. Chomp on Chocolates
Yep, that’s right, chocolates are the perfect solution to a shrewish temperament. Instead of grinding your teeth to powder, chomp on some chocolates, because it releases serotonin, a chemical that uplifts your mood and makes you feel calmer. As crazy as this sounds, you must give this a try because it definitely works. I remember feeling like an enraged bull, ready to charge at the next person that would cross my path but when Kaajal offered me a bite of the five star chocolate that she was eating I accidentally discovered the magic of chocolates. As I lost myself in the gooey-chocolaty Five star I immediately felt better and all my anger melted away.
Ralph Waldo Emerson has rightly said that ‘For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.’ Being angry benefits no one and it surely doesn’t make you feel good. So the next time you’re seething with rage, you can try out any of these 5 hacks and I guarantee that your anger will disappear in a jiffy.